when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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