You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
