I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
