My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
