Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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