Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
