Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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