he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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