You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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