Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
