Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
