A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
