I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
