Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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