Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
