Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
