So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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