ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
