did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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