He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
