You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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