I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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