is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
