Christians are straight up FREAKS
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
