I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
