having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
