Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You pole danced in your parka.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
