Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
