I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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