I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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