She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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