I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
