dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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