Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I touched a dick in church today
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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