Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You can't special order awesome
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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