I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
