As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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