so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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