This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
