brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
