I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
