i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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