there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
