Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
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