any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
