I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
