turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
