just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
