You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
if only i could text you this smell
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
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So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
