Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
