I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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