he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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