apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
her facebook's as public as her vagina
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
