he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You're a waste of cheezeits
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
