Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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