you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
